Water Under The Bridge
This year Scott and I decided (after much prayer and conversation), to home school our three school aged children. It was a tough decision because they were going to great schools, but we really felt it was something we were supposed to do, and with an upcoming move in the spring fall, we thought it might be easier on the family.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I often took advantage of the time my kids were at school to accomplish household chores such as laundry, cleaning, and shopping. I also tried to invest in myself by getting involved in Bible studies and taking the time to do things I enjoyed before they came home in the afternoons so I'd feel refreshed and ready to give back. Yes, I knew that with all the kids home all the time, it was going to be a bit challenging.
What I wasn't prepared for however, was the fact that I have an 8-year-old daughter who thinks quite differently. In fact, she and I do not think very much alike at all. Don't get me wrong, while at times her way of thinking can make me nuts, there are times I can admire that quality in her and sometimes even envy her free spirit.
But on some days...I struggle to get the point across. For example:
A few weeks ago I was trying to teach Hannah how to write a persuasive piece. Her assignment was to write her dad and I a persuasive letter convincing us to let her do something she really wanted to do. She had a worksheet to help guide her along the way, but it turned out she needed much more guidance than I could handle!
We decided that since she wants to take ice skating lessons so bad, she should write us a letter convincing us to let her do so. We went through her guide sheet, and after agreeing that she had some ideas on ways to convince us (emotional, logical reasons), I let her get to work on her letter.
What we ended up with wasn't so persuasive. Just because I love my daughter isn't enough reason to let her do whatever she wants to do. Hannah, however felt that this was the perfect reason for letting her take these lessons. If that wasn't good enough, I was reminded that she loved me too. There! Surely that would convince me!
"Hannah," I sighed, "We went through this. You have to give me some good emotional and logical reasons why I should let you take ice skating lessons. Just because you love me isn't reason enough."
So we went through her sheet again. Even though we'd discussed it before, I again asked her to give me a good logical reason why I should let her do it. When she couldn't come up with something beyond love, I asked her why she thinks it would possibly be good for her to do this (hint, hint)!
"Because, it will make me happy!" She answered.
Hanging my head in defeat, I was about to give up for the day (we could always try again the next day, right?) when her five year old sister shouted out, "Because it's exercise!"
I looked up hopefully at Hannah, nodding my head enthusiastically as she squinted her eyes at Addison and responded, "Addison! Nooooooo! It's not exercise!" That's when I spent the rest of my energy holding myself back from banging my head on the counter.
"Let's try this again..." I breathed out. "If you are on your ice skates and skating along, that means you are moving your..." I waited for her to respond.
"Skates!" Hannah shouted.
"Right...but if you are moving your skates, it means you are moving your feet...and if you are moving your feet you are moving your legs...and if you are moving your legs, they might even get sore, which means you are..." Wait for it...come on, Hannah, you got this! Say it! Say exercise!
"Ice skating!" She shouted.
I gave up on that one. Logical reason number one: Ice skating is exercise. Jot it down, Girl, before I lose my mind.
"Okay, Hannah, let's talk about the emotional reasons why I should let you ice skate. Because I love you is not an emotional reason why. Let's think of a reason why I might feel like letting you do this..."
"Because I love YOU!" She responded.
"No, Hannah. See? You already wrote that down and I already told you that is not a good enough reason."
"Because it will make me so happy!" She exclaimed.
"Hannah...No. It's not just about what makes you happy...okay, look...if all your friends jumped off a bridge, should I just let you do it because you think it will make you happy?" I ask. (Come on now, you know your parents used this one on you!)
"Is the bridge high?" She asked.
Okay, I didn't expect questions. I expected an immediate no, but if she needs to know if the bridge is high in order to answer this question, fine. "Yes, Hannah. The bridge is very high."
"Well, is there water under the bridge?" She asked.
Obviously, this one needs more information in order to make an informed decision.
Sighing, I answered her, "Yes, Hannah, there is water under the bridge, but the bridge is very high and if you jump off, it will hurt you very badly, you could even die."
She thought about it for a minute. "Well..." She thought a little longer. "Maybe I want to find out?"
I may or may not have hit my head on the counter a few times after that. One thing I will say, I gave her the emotional and logical reasons why I should let her ice skate after that. "Write. It. Down." I ordered.
And after that, I will admit that I know my daughter well enough to even try pulling the "curiosity killed the cat" quote on her. Why? Because I KNOW that after a brief, thoughtful pause, her response would be,
"Wait. Doesn't the cat get 9 lives?"
I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I often took advantage of the time my kids were at school to accomplish household chores such as laundry, cleaning, and shopping. I also tried to invest in myself by getting involved in Bible studies and taking the time to do things I enjoyed before they came home in the afternoons so I'd feel refreshed and ready to give back. Yes, I knew that with all the kids home all the time, it was going to be a bit challenging.
What I wasn't prepared for however, was the fact that I have an 8-year-old daughter who thinks quite differently. In fact, she and I do not think very much alike at all. Don't get me wrong, while at times her way of thinking can make me nuts, there are times I can admire that quality in her and sometimes even envy her free spirit.
But on some days...I struggle to get the point across. For example:
A few weeks ago I was trying to teach Hannah how to write a persuasive piece. Her assignment was to write her dad and I a persuasive letter convincing us to let her do something she really wanted to do. She had a worksheet to help guide her along the way, but it turned out she needed much more guidance than I could handle!
We decided that since she wants to take ice skating lessons so bad, she should write us a letter convincing us to let her do so. We went through her guide sheet, and after agreeing that she had some ideas on ways to convince us (emotional, logical reasons), I let her get to work on her letter.
What we ended up with wasn't so persuasive. Just because I love my daughter isn't enough reason to let her do whatever she wants to do. Hannah, however felt that this was the perfect reason for letting her take these lessons. If that wasn't good enough, I was reminded that she loved me too. There! Surely that would convince me!
"Hannah," I sighed, "We went through this. You have to give me some good emotional and logical reasons why I should let you take ice skating lessons. Just because you love me isn't reason enough."
So we went through her sheet again. Even though we'd discussed it before, I again asked her to give me a good logical reason why I should let her do it. When she couldn't come up with something beyond love, I asked her why she thinks it would possibly be good for her to do this (hint, hint)!
"Because, it will make me happy!" She answered.
Hanging my head in defeat, I was about to give up for the day (we could always try again the next day, right?) when her five year old sister shouted out, "Because it's exercise!"
I looked up hopefully at Hannah, nodding my head enthusiastically as she squinted her eyes at Addison and responded, "Addison! Nooooooo! It's not exercise!" That's when I spent the rest of my energy holding myself back from banging my head on the counter.
"Let's try this again..." I breathed out. "If you are on your ice skates and skating along, that means you are moving your..." I waited for her to respond.
"Skates!" Hannah shouted.
"Right...but if you are moving your skates, it means you are moving your feet...and if you are moving your feet you are moving your legs...and if you are moving your legs, they might even get sore, which means you are..." Wait for it...come on, Hannah, you got this! Say it! Say exercise!
"Ice skating!" She shouted.
I gave up on that one. Logical reason number one: Ice skating is exercise. Jot it down, Girl, before I lose my mind.
"Okay, Hannah, let's talk about the emotional reasons why I should let you ice skate. Because I love you is not an emotional reason why. Let's think of a reason why I might feel like letting you do this..."
"Because I love YOU!" She responded.
"No, Hannah. See? You already wrote that down and I already told you that is not a good enough reason."
"Because it will make me so happy!" She exclaimed.
"Hannah...No. It's not just about what makes you happy...okay, look...if all your friends jumped off a bridge, should I just let you do it because you think it will make you happy?" I ask. (Come on now, you know your parents used this one on you!)
"Is the bridge high?" She asked.
Okay, I didn't expect questions. I expected an immediate no, but if she needs to know if the bridge is high in order to answer this question, fine. "Yes, Hannah. The bridge is very high."
"Well, is there water under the bridge?" She asked.
Obviously, this one needs more information in order to make an informed decision.
Sighing, I answered her, "Yes, Hannah, there is water under the bridge, but the bridge is very high and if you jump off, it will hurt you very badly, you could even die."
She thought about it for a minute. "Well..." She thought a little longer. "Maybe I want to find out?"
I may or may not have hit my head on the counter a few times after that. One thing I will say, I gave her the emotional and logical reasons why I should let her ice skate after that. "Write. It. Down." I ordered.
And after that, I will admit that I know my daughter well enough to even try pulling the "curiosity killed the cat" quote on her. Why? Because I KNOW that after a brief, thoughtful pause, her response would be,
"Wait. Doesn't the cat get 9 lives?"
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