The Legend of the Red Thread

There is an old Chinese legend that many families in the China adoption community refer to from time to time.  It is called the legend of the red thread. 

Chinese Proverb:

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.

The doors that were closed when we tried to adopt in Arkansas eventually led us down a road we never anticipated possible.  Now I can see how this "red thread" did tangle and stretch over the last few years, but when my husband said it was time to adopt, it was evident that the thread I thought was broken was still leading us on.  

This international adoption thing was a completely different ball game from our last adoption.  With our last adoption, we knew the child we wanted to adopt and we just had to go through the correct channels with the department of children's services to get the adoption going.  Not that it was easy to adopt domestically, but this new task of choosing who to trust to help us through every scary step of a very expensive and life-changing event was a little intimidating.

So there I stood, feeling completely lost as Scott encouraged me to "get on it." It was time to find an adoption agency and move forward. I was scared, yet amazed at my husband's willingness to do this. Because of his confidence in the decision to move forward, I became determined.

First, I bought a book, highlighting the key advice and things to consider as we made our journey to grow our family.  

I prepared a list of questions - many from the book, with enough space to write my notes when it came time to interview the various agencies.

I spent hours reading reviews on adoption agencies, trying to figure out which ones had the most positive reviews.  There were so many negative reviews and the stories terrified me.  I knew that I had to consider that while some families had legitimate complaints, some of these people might not qualify to adopt and took it out on the agency.  We all know it is so much easier to leave a negative review and/or complain about a service when things go wrong.  But how often do we take the time to write the positive reviews?  It happens less often, because we are busy people!  Knowing this, I decided to eliminate the agencies that had consistent poor ratings.  

I finally had my list of agencies narrowed down to four.  I created a spreadsheet.  I listed what services each of the four agencies offered and how much money they said it was going to cost for each service they provided.  My final task was to talk to them, ask them the questions, then present my research to my husband.  His first question of course, was going to be, "How much does it cost?"  

At first, my heart was leaning towards an agency that did charge more for their services.  They had a fabulous facebook page where they advocated for their waiting children.  I saw about ten of them that I wanted to scoop into my arms and carry home.  But when I received the information packet from CCAI, everything changed.  

First, I was surprised to see a book about the founders of the agency.  A free book?  And it actually looked interesting!  That was generous!  I skimmed through the rest of the materials they sent.  What?  They have an office here in Florida?  I looked at the address.  Oh. My. Word.  I discovered that they not only had an office in Florida, but they had an office in the same city I lived in.  IN FLORIDA!

But when I got my hands on their two page list of references, the deal was sealed.  My eyes skimmed down the list, first pinpointing families who lived in Florida, then crossing over to the column with  their names.  Towards the bottom of the page, I noticed the name of a woman that I just happened to meet by chance!  This woman was the same lovely lady that hosted that Jamberry party I mentioned before!

I couldn't believe it.  I retrieved her email address and sent something that started off like this...

"Remember me?"  

Before I knew it, that sweet woman was on the phone with me.  I was surprised to hear that she'd just returned from her second trip to China.  Her family had grown by one more since I last saw her.  She shared her experiences and advice and I took pages of notes.  By the time I got off the phone with her, I knew that CCAI was our agency.  Scott was pleased that they were also one of the agencies who charged less for their services, and I was thrilled with the fact that they had an office located in the same city we were in!

Looking back,  I know it was no accident that we were exactly where we were.  There I stood once again in awe of where this red thread was leading us.  Closed doors in Arkansas, moving three times and landing in Florida of all places!  Then to meet an adoptive mom who solidified my confidence in an agency that has an office less than ten minutes from my house.  Every step of this process was paved for Scott and I by God himself.  All we had to do was take that step of faith.

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