The Dragonfly Princess

I'm not a big fan of roller coasters, but from time to time I'll seek the thrill and ride one.  There's something about waiting in line, just thinking about all the things that could go wrong...  That is the part I dread the most - the waiting, the thinking, the risk.  But I force my feet to shuffle forward, following the excited crowd towards the point of no return.   Once I'm seated, the belt latches together, then the safety bar comes down...

and

locks

in

place.

There's no going back now!  This is the part where I always want to panic.  If it weren't for that bar, I'd probably give into temptation and exit the ride.  Instead, I'm left with no choice but to grip that bar fiercely, double check to make sure it is truly going to keep me in my seat, and brace myself for all the loops and curves that await.

That is how I felt the day of Cathy's arrival.  It's not that I feared her coming as much as I knew that her arrival solidified that we are actually, truly, intentionally moving forward with this adoption of ours.  The reality terrifies me.

I watched her flight throughout the day, knowing with each and every passing hour, we were going all in.  Now that she was on the plane, there was no turning back.  The safety bar was officially locked in place.

The closer she got to us, the more nervous I felt.  This was a defining moment in our decision to adopt two boys with special needs from a country half way around the world.   The ride is truly about to begin!

With the reality of this life change going on through our heads, Scott and I simply willed ourselves to function like we normally do.  The actions on the outside did not mirror what was going on with us on the inside (because if we threw our hands in the air and screamed, people would probably think we were crazy)!

So on May 27th, we loaded the kids up in the hot car, ran back inside to grab the signs we almost forgot, and headed to the airport to pick up a stranger from a land so-very-different from our own, with the intention of bringing her into our home, our family, and our lives.  This woman will serve as a bridge to connect the gap between our Chinese sons and us.  She will also be a witness to all of our mistakes, flaws, and moments of frustration as we continue to raise our children.  It is my hope and prayer that she also sees the victory, the determination, and a love that covers all of our sins and failures as human beings and parents.

We watched as loads of people passed again, and again, and again.  Some stopped to admire the signs and our adorable children anxiously searching for their new Chinese big sister.  One woman took a bow and thanked us for her generous welcome.  I'm glad the signs reached out to more than just one Cathy!

  

Finally, Cathy appeared, searching anxiously for the American family with so many children.  She spotted us, then waved with the biggest, warmest smile on her face.  

On this very day, our roller coaster ride (also currently known as our adoption journey) suddenly jolted ahead, moving us into action.

We are no longer looking back.  We are slowly but surely moving forward, climbing the tracks upward, unsure of what lies ahead.  As we wait to reach the top, we stop to take in the view from right where we are.  

Here we are, showing Cathy the view of the
city from the roof of the parking garage at the airport.

This is a conscious decision.  We will live each day intentionally.  We will take in all that life brings us and soak each memory in as we wait for the next steps to accelerate us into our future.  So for the rest of this post, I will share the memories of our first days of getting to know Cathy.

Each day has been full of activity.  We brought Cathy home from the airport, fed her, gave her the grand tour of our home, and then she went straight to the girls' bedroom and played a game with them.  I was impressed that she immersed herself into building relationships with the girls right away.

Carey, did you ever imagine the game you bought the girls would be crowning a beautiful Chinese head?

The next night, Cathy presented us with gifts.  She put so much thought into all that she presented.

Cathy presents the girls with shadow puppets.

In a previous email, we jokingly
decided that we could be called The Qi Pao girls.
(It sounds cool in English!)

Each of us ladies were given a Qi Pao.
Mine was hand-painted.  Beautiful!

Cathy was such a trooper her first few days in America, willing herself to stay up as much as possible during our day time.  Where she lives in China, they are 12 hours ahead of us.  I joked that she got to travel back in time.  I know adjusting to the time difference had to have been hard, but she is strong.

Friday, she made sure she was up and joined us for a walk to the park.  

It was while we were there that I got the phone call sharing the news that we'd received approval from USCIS for our I800a application.  This approval was the last document we needed to send our dossier to China!  I loaded Cathy up in the car and drove her to our adoption agency's office to get the form notarized.  How she kept going after only two days in America is beyond me!

Nathanuel graduated the following Sunday, just four days after Cathy's arrival.  Cathy wanted to come along and got a small view of one of the local college campuses.  She was so sweet to sit by the girls and entertain and hold them during the two hour ceremony.

The very next day, I convinced her to join me for a four hour drive to Tallahassee to get the last of our dossier certified.  She was a trooper.  The sweet woman endured a very long day in the car.  We got it done!  The forms were certified and then we shipped it out to get authenticated.

Each and every day was busy.  We took a trip to the beach where she actually stood up on a paddle board!  Do you see the old man with his hands in the air?  He challenged her from the beginning and celebrated her success when she finally stood up.  Cathy has a way of drawing people in like that.  She is surely special.

One night while we were out in the back yard, Cathy shared with me that the Chinese pronunciation of her name sounds a lot like the pronunciation for dragonfly.  She said that her friends call her dragonfly because of this.  The moment she shared this with me, dragonflies suddenly appeared and began to dance around her.  It was a magical moment.  Seeing this, I decided our Cathy truly is a dragonfly princess!  Since then, I have noticed so many dragonflies swooping through the air, especially when I am walking with her.  I've seen dragonflies in Florida, but never have I noticed so many until the day she told me about her name!  

I witness all of this and see:

It's like God is trying to say, "I see her!  I see this beautiful princess and I love her dearly."

She truly has an adventurous spirit and a beautiful heart.  The first Sunday I took her to church with us???  I ended up putting her to work!  She handed out food to the crowd for our Splash Sunday event and did so with a smile.  She didn't think twice about it!

On top of that, I threw Cathy into an experience that could have very well been overwhelming for other people.   My friend Amy and I asked her to join us and the other group of ladies from my church and attend our first annual ladies retreat!  We attended the Beth Moore conference here and I did not warn her about what I was getting her into!

To prepare her for all the studying ahead, sweet Amy presented Cathy with the most thoughtful gift.  Cathy was so surprised!  

She got a Bible written in English and Mandarin!

The retreat kept us busy and the conference was jam packed with women.  Poor Cathy had a hard time keeping up with all that Beth was saying, but she does such an amazing job translating all we say, so I'm sure she picked up some things.

The same night we got back from our conference, we whisked Cathy away to a Publix Cooking school experience.  The ladies sitting behind us also attended the Beth Moore conference, by the way!

This last picture was just another indication of just how special Cathy truly is.  I've taken this trail many times and this very bird is always in the same spot below the bridge.  When I try to take his picture, he often moves behind the trees trying to hide from me.  But when I walked with Cathy, he flew up to the ledge as if to say hello.

Once she got closer, the bird flew away, but in his defense, the presence of a princess can be intimidating to anyone.

So the arrival of this dragonfly princess has been full of adventure already.  I know the ride is only beginning and I'm still in the stages of thinking through all the what ifs as we continue to roll forward.  I'm thankful though.  I'm thankful we were bold enough to take this step and bring Cathy into our home.  I'm thankful she was adventurous enough to join us on this journey.  Beth Moore talked about how important it is to have someone to walk alongside us in life, and that is exactly what Cathy has agreed to do in this important stage of our life.  I'm so thrilled to have another princess in my house, and I look forward to seeing where the rest of this ride takes us!